it's great music for shaving your balls
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The ass gains better be worth it
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