I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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