He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
