Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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