she woke up with a sticky ear
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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