Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
