Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
