jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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