you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
