pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
