I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This toilet bowl is my home.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
