you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
