If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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