You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
