I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
