Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It's just like the Real World with babies
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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