We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
