Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
