Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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