He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
