In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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