there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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