just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I FOUND THE LEGS
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
