I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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