I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize