Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
