6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
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She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
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after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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