Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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