the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
where are you?
Hypothermia
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize