In the future we'll all be gay
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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