Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
