we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
