I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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