that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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