theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
