ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Randomize
