Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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