never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
