Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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