i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
