4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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