Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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