look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ketchup is God's man juice
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
