i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
