Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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