The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
your room smells of hookers.
And success
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Randomize
