Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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