Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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