Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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