This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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