I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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