I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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