They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Your shirt... Was in my pants
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
