:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
