I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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