Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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