how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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