are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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