imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
