dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
