it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
