In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
