I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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