Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
