Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(316): View more from Kansas

No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?

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(708): View more from Illinois

Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash

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(519): View more from Ontario

On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?

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23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(541): View more from Oregon

Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face

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(916): View more from California

I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?

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(801): View more from Utah

The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.

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(602): View more from Arizona

My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.

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