Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
