This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.