Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(707): View more from California

The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls

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(201): View more from New Jersey

It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.

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(207): View more from Maine

Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.

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