I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
don't judge my taste in strippers
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
