Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
third nipple confirmed
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.