I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
