no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
