but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
