she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
