Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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