Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Drake has all the answers
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
