i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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