Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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