I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
